The end

Birds flying around,
myself in many conflicts;
deep inside conflicts
maybe just i never had them before,
unknown taste of this days
26 years and i just noticed
I´m
alive,
living a life no one aware me before
I just woke up to see
I was alive all this time.
Then not just that but
I´m supposed to live it right,
be wise, (or sound the less dumb)
take decisions, (or just reacting cuz i breath)
be responsible
(what i call -the tool that keeps me from showing the many evidences of my shameful selfish nature-)
and as well
somehow accomplish a sort of way to be
happy
in the midst of this unsuspected war.
Am i being so little grateful?
not grateful at all?
No nothing like this, not at all,
its just my tendency to lead my finger deep inside the bloody scar
in plain words,
no drama
but its true,
I feel like those birds im watching flying right now,
flying between the earth and heaven
floating
dancing in between two different strengths
in between indecisions and victories
fear and hope,
that what is not any longer and that what it is happening
like midnight and still so clear with the most shiny daylight.
While Bach preaches to my heart and hope,
his message tells me
soon the darkness will go away
because The Victorious Light broke the bondages
then no sorrow
no blindness anymore
The Light
is wearing its gloriousness
and is coming to shine over you
The Light
has come for you
again.

Draft 9

What i have seen cant be told,
when i remember that what i cant remember all,
the much i have done leads me to storms of acid feelings;
the things i made, the words i said but specially
all that i enjoyed by heart.

Maybe some things i still remember but mostly the completeness
went away.
Im not quiet sure if isn't alright that way
but thinking in all the things i have seen and done
there are many constants, many similarities so much i learned just to have an excuse
an excuse to give myself and die,
time after time giving myself again and...
for each thing i do, i ride them dreaming on,
All. all for the non changing and the passenger deal
that is quite the same business.
Life more often gets me questioning, not so much really but now once again.